Happy Father's Day

PODCAST: Political Dad

EPISODE: 7

Title: Happy Father’s Day

[Theme music fades in]

Hello, you political patriarchs! It's “Political Dad”, your favorite pundit and proud papa, bringing you the Father's Day episode of the “Political Dad Podcast”! Because what better day to celebrate our knack for both barbecuing and bureaucracy? So, grab your 'Grill Master' aprons and Constitution copies, folks, it’s time to turn up the heat!

*Cue jingle*

"Well, hello there! Welcome, folks, to another episode of the Political Dad Podcast. The only podcast where we tackle the pressing issues of the day: whether it's from Washington DC to the wild frontiers of backyard barbecue politics. I'm your host, “Political Dad”, your friendly neighborhood pundit and patriarch, the one who makes 'Dad jokes' sound like they belong in the Constitution.

Today is a special day because we're broadcasting on a day that brings joy, horror, and a sudden shortage of neckties worldwide – you guessed it, it's Father's Day. Ah, Father's Day. The one day a year when we dads are allowed to rule the roost, commandeer the TV remote, and tell as many bad jokes as we want without any eye-rolling from the kids. It’s a 24-hour break from being wrong about everything.

And to all you fathers out there, navigating the treacherous waters of politics and parenthood, to you I say: Congrats! You're doing a bang-up job. We salute you, the ones brave enough to tackle climate change debates while fixing a leaky faucet, who can recite the Bill of Rights while perfecting your secret barbecue sauce. You are the unsung heroes, the 'grill sergeants', the 'commander-in-chief’s' of your cul-de-sacs.

And speaking of dads, let’s not forget our founding fathers! Oh yes, the ones who didn't have to deal with Wi-Fi passwords or TikTok dances but did have that pesky British Empire to handle. Now, there’s a bunch of guys who knew a thing or two about fatherhood and forming a nation. If they could see us now, grappling with the latest tweet from the White House, I bet they’d chuckle and say, 'And you thought WE had it tough!'

But in all seriousness, what we do isn't easy. It's like trying to teach a teenager how to drive stick shift - there's going to be some grinding gears and many a stop-start, but in the end, we somehow make it work. And we do it with pride, because we're not just shaping the lives of our kids, we're shaping the future voters, the future leaders, and the future podcast hosts.

So, here's to you, dads. Keep on debating, keep on grilling, and for goodness’ sake, keep telling those terrible, wonderful dad jokes. Because at the end of the day, you're not just a dad, you're a “political dad”, and that’s one of the most powerful forces in the universe.

Alright, enough mushy stuff! Let's dive into today’s political dad issues: I promise, there will be equal parts heartwarming anecdotes and hard-hitting policy discussions. Just remember, no matter how heated it gets, we're all dads under the same star-spangled banner. Let's do this, dads!"

*Cue Headlines jingle*

This past week’s crazy headlines go something like this…

:PGA, LIV deal has US lawmakers asking for more details...

 :Amazon Delivery Drivers Walk Out in First-Ever Driver Strike...

 :Kennedy sends clear message to DOJ and FBI as Biden bribery allegations swirl...

 :Fed declines to raise interest rates for the first time in 15 months...

 :Garth Brooks tries to clarify slamming Bud Light boycotters as "A Holes"....

 :Trump slams 'sham' federal indictment as 'election interference,' 'most heinous abuse of power' in US history...

 :Artificial intelligence was used to help create “the last Beatles record,” decades after the band broke up, Paul McCartney says...

 :Donald Trump arrested: Special counsel Jack Smith confronts former president in courtroom

 :THE NUGGETS ARE CHAMPIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FRANCHISE HISTORY...

 :'Wheel of Fortune' Host Pat Sajak to retire after 41 seasons: 'It's Been a Wonderful Ride' he said...

 :XFL lost $60 million in first year under The Rock's ownership...  Ouch!!!

There is so much breaking news coming out, that we really need to expand the “Political Dad Podcast” to twice a week…

Don’t tell my wife! 

The first thing we should touch on before the break is, Donald Trump and him being arrested last week.  My buddy Matt Drudge has a Headline on his site today saying “ELECTION OF DREAD”.  The headline, leads to an article in the Wall Street Journal talking about how no one is looking forward to the 2024 Presidential Election.  I couldn’t agree more.  Usually the nasty fight takes place in the debates.  Now its 24, 7 and 365.  With Social Media they are constantly attacking their opponents.  It’s the new way of debating and it drives the general population away from Politics…  We actually need to bring more people into politics and use a common sense approach.  I just don’t think we fix this until we figure out a way to Term limit all the politicians in DC.  The Politicians in DC have all the power and therefore control all the money and where it goes.  Some do good things with the money and some find a way to become RICH!  When you are going to work for the people, you are there to serve the people and use good judgment and morals.  We as a Country have lost site of that in DC.  How can we fix this???  Email your ideas to me…  PD at CSBN.LIVE…

Let’s go to a quick break and when we get back the topic of Father’s Day is on the plate.

Go to Break

Spot: Biden Buddy

[Sound of radio tuning, upbeat jingle]

Narrator: (Cheerfully) "This Father's Day, are you worried about your dad forgetting those ever so important punchlines to his dad jokes? Well, we've got you covered!"

[SFX: Crowd Laugh]

Narrator: "Introducing the ‘Biden Buddy’, the ideal Father's Day gift. Inspired by the man himself, President Joe Biden."

[SFX: Drum Roll]

Narrator: (Enthusiastically) "The Biden Buddy is a compact, state-of-the-art teleprompter that will help your dad deliver every line perfectly! Whether it's at the dinner table or a public speaking event, he'll never forget his lines again."

[SFX: Applause]

Voice Actor impersonating Biden: (Chuckles) "Back in my day, we used to memorize everything. But boy, this thing sure is a game-changer!"

[SFX: Crowd Laugh]

Narrator: "Hilarious dad jokes, profound speeches, grocery lists - you name it, Biden Buddy's got it! This device has a user-friendly interface and is simple enough for any dad to operate. It even comes pre-loaded with some of Biden's iconic phrases!"

[SFX: "That's a bunch of malarkey!" Sound Clip]

Drum roll   Narrator: (Laughs) "The Biden Buddy: Because every dad deserves to be a star on their special day. Order now and we'll even throw in a pair of aviator sunglasses, so your dad can really feel like the commander-in-chief!"

[SFX: Crowd Cheering]

Narrator: (Softly) "Biden Buddy, helping dads everywhere remember their lines this Father's Day."

[SFX: Upbeat Jingle, fade out]

Narrator: (Whispering) "Disclaimer: The Biden Buddy is not responsible for any sudden increase in dad joke frequency or intensity. Please laugh responsibly."

[SFX: Crowd Laugh, end scene] 

Return Liner

"Hello, and welcome back to the “Political Dad Podcast”. I'm your host, PD. With Father's Day on the horizon, it feels fitting to explore the intersection of fatherhood and leadership by focusing on some of our past U.S. Presidents."

"These leaders were not just Presidents but also fathers. They balanced leading our nation with raising their children. Let's delve into their unique experiences."

"We begin with Thomas Jefferson, the third President, a dedicated father to six children. Despite the constraints of his time, Jefferson advocated for the education of his daughters just as fervently as his sons."

"Fast-forwarding a bit, we encounter John F. Kennedy, our 35th President. He navigated the turbulent waters of the Cold War while also being a father to young Caroline and John Jr., resulting in some endearing family moments in the Oval Office."

"Moving onto the 42nd President, Bill Clinton. Clinton juggled managing a country while being a father to his daughter, Chelsea. Clinton’s presidency gave America a front-row seat to Chelsea's journey from adolescence to adulthood."

"Barack Obama, our 44th President, was often seen playing the role of 'dad-in-chief' to his two daughters, Malia and Sasha. Obama’s commitment to his family time, notably the family dinners, is well-documented."

"Our 45th President, Donald Trump, has five children. Trump's presidency was marked by the active involvement of his older children, particularly Ivanka, Donald Jr., and Eric, who held significant roles in his administration."

"And we can't forget our current President, Joe Biden, who is not only a father but a grandfather. His love for his family has been a hallmark of his public life, with his son Hunter and daughter Ashley often by his side."

"These presidents remind us that, despite their larger-than-life roles, they too grappled with the challenges and joys of fatherhood."

"On this Father’s Day, let's acknowledge these presidents and all dads, who strive to balance their responsibilities while enriching their children's lives."

"Alright, folks, here's a classic dad joke to lighten the mood. Why don't Joe Biden and Donald Trump ever play hide and seek?"

"Because good luck hiding when you're always trying to run the country!"

"Remember, folks, it's all in good humor. That's the beauty of dad jokes - they're meant to be corny and fun!"

Gotobreak

[Theme Music Fades]

Hello and welcome back to the Political Dad Podcast! I'm your host, PD. Today, we're going to delve into a subject that's stirring quite a buzz in Florida's political scene."

"We're talking about Governor Ron DeSantis. If you recall, during his campaign for the governorship, DeSantis pledged unwavering commitment to Florida. He promised his sights were solely on serving the state as its governor, with no aspirations for higher office."

“For many Floridians, who voted him back into the governor's mansion expecting his full attention and dedication to Florida, this feels like a betrayal."

"But there's another layer to this unfolding political drama. Some Floridians have expressed concerns that DeSantis' decision to run for president is now coloring his policies and decision-making as governor."

"Essentially, the fear is that he may be making decisions for Florida not based solely on what is best for Floridians, but in a manner that garners him wider appeal, bolstering his chances for the highest office in the land."

"This kind of concern isn't unique to Florida. Voters everywhere want their leaders to prioritize their needs and not use their state as a stepping stone for higher political aspirations. It's akin to being a dad. You don't parent your child with an eye on impressing your neighbors, but rather you make decisions that are best for your child's well-being and growth."

"The situation in Florida underscores the vital importance of trust in our elected leaders. It brings into focus questions of responsibility, dedication, and the delicate balancing act between local and national ambitions."

"As this political drama continues to unfold, and we inch closer to the next election cycle, one thing remains certain: the relationship between politicians and their constituents hinges on trust and fulfilled promises."

[Show close]

[Theme Music Fades In]

"Well, folks, it's been another exciting week of politics and dad jokes here at the Political Dad Podcast. We've traversed through time with our fatherly Presidents, examined some crucial political developments, and, of course, we never shy away from those timeless dad jokes."

"Remember, whether you're navigating the waters of politics or the daily challenges of fatherhood, your voice matters. You make a difference. Your contribution to your family, your community, your state, or even the nation isn't just important—it's vital."

"As we wrap up, I want to leave you with one final thought. Let's keep our sense of humor, our sense of perspective, and our sense of commitment. Let's question when we need to, speak up when it's called for, and laugh when it all gets a bit too serious. Because, at the end of the day, that's what being a political dad is all about."

"Thank you for tuning in this week to the Political Dad Podcast. We value your listenership, your insights, and your engagement. We'll be back next week with more analysis, dad jokes, and hopefully, a few good answers."

[Theme Music Rises]

"Until then, keep doing what you're doing, dads. Stay engaged, stay informed, and most importantly, stay awesome. This is your host signing off, and wishing you a fantastic week ahead."

[Theme Music Fades Out]