Labor Day—Aging DC, Impeachment & Jokes

PODCAST: Political Dad

EPISODE: 21

Title:  Labor Day—Aging DC, Impeachment & Jokes

Welcome back to the Political Dad Podcast on the C-S-B network. Today, we've got a Labor Day special for you. But first, let's tip our hats to the late Jimmy Buffett, who left us on September 1st. Buckle up, folks, it's time to dive into Labor Day from a dad's perspective!

[Jingle]

Now, Labor Day. We've all heard of it, but how many of us really know what it's about? Sure, it's a long weekend. It's barbecues, it's the unofficial end of summer. But folks, let's not forget why we celebrate Labor Day—this day is an ode to the American workforce, to the men and women who built this great country from the ground up!

Now, why does Labor Day matter? Well, you see, it matters because we're talking about the essence of America, my friends. This country was founded on the belief that hard work pays off. So this Labor Day, while you're flipping those burgers or enjoying some family time, take a minute to appreciate the work that goes into maintaining the lifestyle we often take for granted.

I tell ya, from a dad's perspective, Labor Day isn't just about celebrating jobs; it's about instilling in our kids the value of work, the satisfaction that comes from a job well done, and let's be real, that paycheck isn't too shabby either!

Now, folks, we can't talk about Labor Day without mentioning the political angle. Don't worry, I'm keeping it neutral here. Whether you lean left or right, the labor force is something that unites us all. As we sit back this Labor Day and enjoy the fruits of our labor, let's also consider policies and initiatives that can keep the American Dream alive for all hard-working citizens out there.

    Last week on the Political Dad Facebook page, we threw up a picture of none other than Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Now, I asked all of you good people to drop your thoughts, your comments, and you didn't disappoint!

Graffiti

We've got about 60 comments here, and let me tell you, they run the gamut! But instead of me blabbering on about it, we condensed them down so AI Jimmy could give you a little taste of what the good ol' American populace thinks. Hit it, Jimmy!

AI Jimmy: *Reads condensed comments, ranging from admiration for Justice Thomas' legal wisdom to critical viewpoints on his judicial record, etc.*

Well, there you have it, folks. A myriad of perspectives on Justice Clarence Thomas, a man who has arguably become an icon in American jurisprudence, for better or for worse depending on who you ask.

Now from a dad's perspective, you see, this is what I like. A space where people can voice their opinions freely. Whether you're praising Clarence Thomas or scrutinizing his decisions, this is what democracy is all about. But remember, these aren't just empty words. They represent the diverse thought that fuels this nation, and that, my friends, is something we should all teach our kids to respect and engage with.

Now folks, let's get a little personal for a minute. I've had the privilege, yes, the privilege, of meeting Justice Clarence Thomas on more than one occasion. For those of you that don't know, he's the guy who married my old boss, the one and only Rush Limbaugh, to his third wife. That's right!

And let me tell you, Justice Thomas—he's a man of the people. This gentleman loves hopping in his RV and hitting the open road. Visited us at the EIB Southern Command a few times, too. Rush always spoke about Thomas' love for RV travel. It's an RV—just a regular guy enjoying the freedom of the road with his wife.

Now, here's the bitter pill: The media has this obsession with trying to tear down a man like Justice Thomas. Look, he's not naive; he knew the political landscape he was stepping into. But it's disheartening, it's discouraging to witness character assassination masquerading as journalism.

Justice Thomas, let me tell you, is a wonderful person—period, end of sentence. If you're thinking of running for office or even a judicial position, be ready for the smear campaigns. And don't believe everything you read. Half of it's spun so hard, it makes your head spin!

My years with Rush gave me a front-row seat to the spin machine. Take all those Rush stories, for example. Sure, there's a grain of truth, but it's like making a mountain out of a molehill, just to score political points. Folks still think Rush did his show from his Palm Beach mansion and that he had it out for Black people. Utterly false, my friends.

If Rush was a racist, you think I'd be working for the guy for two decades? C'mon, let's be real. Racism today has become big business. Just look at organizations like BLM! The DC elites push that narrative to distract us, while they're making off with the loot—our hard-earned money and freedoms!

Alright, enough of my soapbox. You've been listening to the Political Dad Podcast, and I appreciate you sticking around. But don't go anywhere, we've still got more to talk about.

Gotobreak

Ah, welcome back, folks! Grab your coffee or your after-dinner Scotch because we're diving back into the Political Dad podcast. You're going to want to be fully awake for this one. Ah, yes, the age of the politicians in D.C. The nation's capital: where age is just a number, but that number is usually high enough to get you a senior discount at Denny's!

So, let's tune in to what Nikki Haley had to say on Good Morning America. [Insert Nikki Haley audio clip here.]

Wow! Nikki is out there calling the U.S. Senate the "most privileged nursing home in the country!" I mean, is she wrong? Look, no disrespect to our elders, but Congress is starting to look like a reunion for the cast of 'Cocoon.'

You've got folks in there who've been around since the typewriter was considered high tech. Heck, some of them might still be using typewriters for all we know! And don't even get me started on fax machines—I'm pretty sure half the Senate thinks "the cloud" is just something that blocks the sun.

Alright, folks, fasten your seatbelts! We've got a trio of sound bites that's more eye-opening than a double shot of espresso. Coming up: Joe Biden, Mitch McConnell, and—oh, you guessed it—the one and only Nancy Pelosi. Let's roll those golden nuggets of wisdom—or confusion, depending on how you look at it. Cue the audio! [sound bites]

Alright, let's cut to the chase, listeners: it's high time we dusted off that endangered species known as "common sense." We've got politicians in D.C. who've clocked more years in the Capitol than most of us have in our careers. Three, four, even FIVE decades? Come on, folks!

If you can't string two sentences together without consulting your 1950s-era dictionary, then maybe—just maybe—you should be sipping Mai Tais in a retirement home, not legislating our future and playing Monopoly with taxpayer dollars!

Nikki Haley's got it spot-on. The Beltway's starting to look like the world's most exclusive assisted living facility, and that's not a compliment. Here on the Political Dad podcast, we're gonna keep banging this drum louder than a toddler on a sugar rush, until somebody—anybody—starts to listen.

Enough's enough! We don't just need change; we demand it. And folks, the time to start is right here, right now. This is Political Dad, signing off on a topic that we're not gonna let collect dust!

Alright, folks, hang onto your hats because we're diving into this week's headlines. It's time to find out what craziness we've all missed while living our lives. You better believe I'm gonna give you the scoop, drenched in that authentic Political Dad flavor. So let's roll up our sleeves, pull up a chair, and get into it!

Headlines

Ah, strap in, listeners! Let's put a humorous Political Dad twist on these headlines. Get ready for some knee-slappers:

1. **San Francisco Nordstrom Shuts Its Doors After 30-Year Run Thanks to Crime Spree!**

   - "San Fran Nordstrom: 'We Came for the Shoes, We Left Because of the Looters!'"

2. **Trump Trial Scheduled for March 4, 2024, on Federal Charges of Election Plotting!**

   - "Save the Date: Trump’s Legal Circus Rolls Into Town March 4th! Popcorn, Anyone?"

3. **Elton John, 76, Hospitalized for Brain Scan After Fall in Nice!**

   - "Elton John: 'I'm Still Standing, But First, Let Me Get This Brain Scan!'"

4. **Miami Mayor Francis Suarez Pauses His 2024 GOP Campaign!**

   - "Francis Suarez Hits the 'Pause' Button: Must Be Miami Heat Timeouts!"

5. **Hurricane Idalia Could Cost a Whopping $20 Billion!**

   - "Hurricane Idalia—So Expensive, It Should Come With a Luxury Tax!"

6. **National Archives Uncovers 5,000 Emails Possibly Tied to Biden Aliases!**

   - "Biden’s Alias Email Saga: Not Even James Bond Had This Many Secret Identities!"

7. **Jeffrey Epstein Courted Trump Allies Before 2016 Election for Meetings with Russian Diplomat!**

   - "Epstein Tries to Set Up Trump's Friends: It’s Like ‘The Bachelor,’ But for Espionage!"

8. **Sen. Mitch McConnell Freezes Up Again at Kentucky Event!**

   - "Mitch McConnell: Less 'Leader of the Senate,' More 'Mannequin Challenge Champion'!"

9. **DeSantis SuperPAC Makes Desperate $50M Donation Call!**

   - "DeSantis SuperPAC's $50M Plea: Because Even Superheroes Need to Pay Their Utility Bills!"

10. **McCarthy Refuses Impeachment Inquiry Without House Vote!**

    - "McCarthy Says No to Impeachment Without a Vote: Democracy or 'Deal or No Deal' Episode?"

11. **Putin Unveils 16,000mph 'Satan-2' Nuke Capable of Sinking UK in One Strike!**

    - "Putin's 'Satan-2'—So Fast, It Could Get a Speeding Ticket in Every Country It Flies Over!"

12. **Biden Admin to Request Additional $4 Billion for FEMA!**

    - "Biden Wants More FEMA Money: Because Natural Disasters Are Getting Pricier Than Cable Bills!"

13. **Nikki Haley Dubs U.S. Senate 'Most Privileged Nursing Home in the Country'!**

    - "Nikki Haley: Senate or Nursing Home? Hard to Tell When Everyone's Asleep by 8 PM!"

Alright, folks, that's my take! A dash of humor, a pinch of perspective, and a whole lotta Political Dad for ya. What are your thoughts? Stay tuned for more.

Spot

And we're back, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome back to the Political Dad podcast; I hope you grabbed yourself a cold one during the break, 'cause it's about to get fiery in here! 🎙️

It's Labor Day weekend, you're probably grilling some burgers or whatnot—Speaker Kevin McCarthy says that any impeachment inquiry into President Biden will require a full House vote. That's right, no lone ranger tactics here; the whole posse's gotta be on board.

McCarthy claims it's all about keeping things "serious," respecting the weight of impeachment and giving the American people a voice through their elected reps. But remember, my fine listeners, this often serves as a smokescreen, a game of smoke and mirrors designed to keep you enthralled while the real action happens behind the curtain.

You see, this impeachment talk—whether it's from the left or the right—is nothing more than a high-stakes game of "Who's got the bigger megaphone?"

Here's the bitter truth: both sides want you to believe they're in a Mortal Kombat-style showdown, fighting tooth and nail for you, the American people. But let me give it to you straight, the only combat going on here is for your attention and, more importantly, your belief in the illusion they're selling.

You know who they don't want walking through the hallowed halls of D.C.? Mavericks, outsiders—people they can't wave a magic wand over and control like some sort of political Pinocchio. Take Donald Trump or Vivek Ramaswamy, for example. These are guys who can't be bought with a six-pack and a smile.

Why? Because they're disruptors, the proverbial wrenches in the gears of the political machinery that's been swindling Joe and Jane American for years. And you better believe the D.C. elite are scared to death of being exposed for the long con they've been running.

So next time you hear impeachment talk—whether it's for Biden, Trump, or heck, even Mickey Mouse—just remember, it's often less about justice and more about controlling the narrative and, by extension, you.

That's the raw, unvarnished truth from yours truly, Political Dad. No sugar-coating, just real talk for real people.

Alright, folks, we've served you up some hearty doses of straight-shooting today, and if you're anything like me, a good laugh is the best chaser for hard truths. So let's switch gears and hit the fun zone with some Political Dad Jokes to cap off this week's episode!

But before we dive into the comedy gold, I want to thank all of you for tuning in. Your support makes this show what it is—a beacon of common sense in a world that often seems to have lost its marbles. Remember, folks, change starts with you, and it starts now.  Please send us feedback.  PD@CSBN.LIVE  that’s PD@CSBN.LIVE

Show Close

 Ah, the moment you've all been waiting for: Political Dad Jokes, the Labor Day edition! I hope you're ready for this, my friends, because these are some zingers that even your teenagers will have to pretend not to laugh at. Alright, here we go:

1. Why did Kevin McCarthy insist on a House vote for impeachment? Because the last time he made a decision without one, he ended up with pineapple on his pizza!
2. What's Mitch McConnell's favorite dance move? The freeze! But only at public events.
3. Why did Joe Biden avoid talking about his family business? He couldn't remember if he was in the construction business or the "obstruction" business!
4. Why did Nikki Haley say the Senate is the most privileged nursing home? Because they've got a 100-seat dining room and everyone's arguing but no one's eating!
5. What's the unofficial motto of D.C.? "Making years of service count—toward our retirement, not your future!"
6. What's Nancy Pelosi's favorite card game? Bridge, because just like her policies, it takes a long time to finish a game!
7. Why did Donald Trump get kicked off Twitter? Because they couldn't handle his character... limit!
8. Why do politicians love the game 'Simon Says'? Because it's the only time they actually listen to what someone is saying!
9. How do you make a Political Dad cocktail? One part truth, two parts humor, and a splash of common sense. Best served on Election Day!
10. And lastly, why did the politician get kicked out of the movie theater? Because he couldn't stop flip-flopping between seats!

And there you have it, folks! A dose of comedy to send you off with a grin. Thanks for joining me on this Labor Day special episode of the Political Dad podcast, part of the Jefepods.com network. Until next week, keep fighting the good fight and laughing while you do it!